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Brendan Tompkins [MVP]

Blog First. Ask Questions Later.

Oh! Now THIS is Funny...

So, I get this email today:

Subject: .NET Blows Balls!!!
Email: 1@2.com
IP Address: [REMOVED AS OF 3:30]

=====================================
Why must you proliferate another Microsoft product by splattering their logo everywhere??? Can't you just try to hide the fact that you are not a web programmer, but a Microsoft Certified Asshole???

First of all, I don't know where I've splattered their logo, I only know of one place on my blog with their logo... And the sentence starting with “Can't you just..” has so many double-negatives, I can't even understand what he's trying to say, but I will agree with him that I'm not a “web programmer.” But that't not the funny part, this is: as it happens, when you click on the IP address, you can find for yourself the real sender of this email. Try it.

Here's an exerpt from his Resume:

August 2003 - Present

Modernized current business solutions. Wrote Perl scripts to run administrative, web-based CGI interface to automate scheduling, billing, and records system. Communicate regularly with faculty and staff to ensure a working and efficient product. Constructed multi-processor server to host https://coxsackietransport.com , assembling all hardware and compiling all software by hand to maximize performance and minimize CPU waste.

Sounds very advanced... Using that fancy CGI. How circa 1995 can you get.. Perhaps he should read this book here.

-Brendan

Update @3:24... Matt made me think twice about bullying this guy, so I've removed his IP Address from this post, calling the dogs off if you will. I guess I'm a bit thin-skinned when it comes to stuff like this, and outed his IP just because I could. In hindsight, it probably wasn't the most mature thing to do....

Published Jul 20 2004, 10:02 AM by Brendan Tompkins

Comments

Darrell said:

Hey wait a minute, check out the all-important "Objective"!

To obtain an entry-level position that will utilize and expand my programming and administration skills within a demanding environment.

# July 20, 2004 6:32 AM

Jim Bolla said:

"assembling all hardware and compiling all software by hand to maximize performance and minimize CPU waste"

compiling by hand sounds tedious and error prone. i prefer to let the compiler do it. but thats quite impressive nonetheless.

# July 20, 2004 6:36 AM

Eric Wise said:

I don't even use an objective on my resume anymore. I decided that my objective for any job is:

Something that pays well, and doesn't suck.

Pretty funny post.

# July 20, 2004 6:37 AM

Mark said:

"Brilliant! Hilariously funny." --Siskel-Ebert.

He seems otherwise to be a very Intelligent chap. After all, his skill set does includes "Microsoft (All Versions)."

--Mark

# July 20, 2004 6:45 AM

Eric Wise said:

Good god, he works within spitting distance of where I live. Now I feel shame by geographical association.

# July 20, 2004 6:50 AM

Jim Bolla said:

You should email him back with a response.

I noticed he got his masters from RIT, which is where I spent my 1 year in college before dropping out. That kinda explains something about his anti-MS alignment. They had us programming in Eiffel on Unix (Solaris if I recall). It was god awful.

I remember my CS teacher teaching us that a method can either return a value, or change the state of the progam, but never both in the same method. I remember this as being the moment I lost faith in that teacher/school.

# July 20, 2004 6:57 AM

matt said:

oh man. okay, there are limits and admittedly he shouldnt have sent that email, but do you REALLY need to bully him like this? That's the kind of email you just trash and forget about... man... I'm not who to feel more embarassed about, you or him.

hmm

# July 20, 2004 7:10 AM

grant said:

This is right up there with the one where your ex found your blog.

# July 20, 2004 7:24 AM

Brendan Tompkins said:

Geesh.. I just thought it was funny... And he did call me an asshole.. Am I really being a bully?

# July 20, 2004 7:24 AM

Mark said:

Yea, I thought the same thing, so I went and looked for them. Where are the comments your ex put on your blog? Did you remove the post/comments?

--Mark

# July 20, 2004 7:31 AM

Brendan Tompkins said:

http://dotnetjunkies.com/WebLog/bsblog/archive/2003/10/15/2642.aspx#3319

# July 20, 2004 7:33 AM

Ric Castagna said:

Ah, yes...academia. It must be great to program for the real-world equivalent of a petrie dish.

You don't have to worry about that person in accounting that calls support when the screen-saver kicks in.

You don't have to worry about spending three months developing from half-assed business specs only to find out that the business unit really wants something completely different.

The only thing you have to worry about is whether or not the professor you've spent the last four years brown-nosing will either a) keep his tenure/funding or b) has a friend in the real world that needs a new brown-noser.

Don't get me wrong, I know that MS isn't the end-all, be-all of computer development. But, it's hard to ignore the well published facts on the domination of MS on the desktop and in the business world. I could cry in my beer - I came from the land of Macintosh. Linux has its place, but it is not being absorbed at nearly the same pace as MS.

Does that mean that I'm a whore to MS? OK, I guess I am. My experience and MS skills are what I use to make my mortgage payment, my car payment, and put cold beer in the fridge.

# July 20, 2004 7:41 AM

Annoyed by superiority complexes said:

OK, to start with, the guy's a bit of a pratt, fair enough. But then you come off as a bit of a pratt with that comment about double negatives. If you really can't understand what he wrote (and have to fall back on claiming non-existent double-negatives to try and sound smarter), maybe you should start reading slower.

# July 21, 2004 12:05 PM

Brendan Tompkins said:

Um.. Okay. It looks like a double negative to me (Can't ... not) anyhow I see your point. I was kind of teed off at this guy when I wrote this. BTW. I read the word "pratt" really really slowly, and I'm still clueless. WTF is a pratt?

# July 21, 2004 12:50 PM

Same guy again said:

A double negative is when two negatives are used to express a single negative (i.e: "I didn't do nothing!" to mean "I did nothing"). Any sentence that has two negatives in it isn't necessarily a double negative. Most likely I misunderstood what you meant by that phrase, and you just meant you were confused like the guests at Bilbo's party, but there were only two negatives in his statement, and they didn't make it hard to understand.
Pratt is a word in common use that I can't seem to find a good definition for. It's used at least in England, Australia and New Zealand to mean "prick" or "moron", but less offensive - more like a term for a friend who does something stupid without thinking.
I've seen some people spell it with a single t, as well.

# July 21, 2004 2:15 PM

Brendan Tompkins said:

Well, at least I learned a new word... I asked my wife, and she agrees with you about the double negative. And you're right; I was just being a prick by picking apart his irritating email and posting his IP for a day. But you gotta see it my way : This person comes along and out of the blue calls me an asshole... just for programming Windows? And he's dumb enough to leave his workstation wide open on port 80 with his resume posted? And I'm supposed to bite my tongue? Come on!

You seem like a nice enough guy, and somehow this other guy ended up looking like the underdog in all of this, but he really did deserve it, IMO.

Anyhow, if you ever get near Melbourne - go see the Lucksmiths play.. They’re my favorite band of all time.

# July 21, 2004 3:10 PM

One last time said:

Fair enough... when someone gives you a hard time because you're not the zealot they are, it's hard to stay calm about it. And I did get a laugh out of the link to his resume, I just get kinda riled over attacks on things that aren't there (like seriously believing the stereotype that all linux users are pasty-faced and living in the basement at home).
The guy had made enough of a fool out of himself as it was, you didn't need to "make stuff up" ;)
Actually, reading his ".NET Blows Balls" comment again makes me wonder if he has a clue at all... .NET is the first thing in years that has me re-considering the Windows platform.

# July 21, 2004 5:09 PM

quinn said:

Why does someone whom hates everything .net end up on a dotnetjunkies.com BLOG? I think it was just to call you an asshole.

(the "ex" blog - hilarious! issues! issues!)

# July 22, 2004 2:47 AM

Brendan Tompkins said:

Scoble's Human Too...

# September 21, 2004 1:48 AM

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About Brendan Tompkins

Brendan has been programming with .NET since the first public beta and is owner and operator of Port Technology Services, a consultancy company providing .NET application development services to the Maritime industry. In July, 2007, he was awarded the Microsoft MVP award for ASP.NET. He's also a proud co-founder of failed .COM startup Intrinsigo, and has had a hand in the failure of numerous other businesses. He currently runs CodeBetter.Com and Devlicio.us, and lives in Norfolk, Virgina with his wife Tiara and son Ian.

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Brendan Tompkins [MVP]

Oh! Now THIS is Funny...

Comments

Darrell said:

Jim Bolla said:

Eric Wise said:

Mark said:

Eric Wise said:

Jim Bolla said:

matt said:

grant said:

Brendan Tompkins said:

Mark said:

Brendan Tompkins said:

Ric Castagna said:

Annoyed by superiority complexes said:

Brendan Tompkins said:

Same guy again said:

Brendan Tompkins said:

One last time said:

quinn said:

Brendan Tompkins said:

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