Like many historically Microsoft development shops we struggle with grossly inappropriate usage of stored procedures (every single MS development shop I’ve worked in or consulted for had this issue to some degree or another). Part of our “rules engine” varies by configuring the name of a stored procedure per customer for a certain data validation. The sproc’s are edited and deployed outside of any kind of disciplined, consistent process. We *really* want to get rid of these things, but in the meantime, it’s spawning some great internal quotes.
“If we can’t get rid of the stored procedures, can you build us a ‘Stored Procedure Writer’ tool?” – Yes, we’ll call it Query Analyzer
“They’re just stored procedures, they can’t do any harm” – My jaw hit the floor. It’s a running joke in the office now.
“It’s easier for my guys to write stored procedures than have to edit code somewhere” – that one might have been true in the past, but it was a sign in bright pink neon letters that the code *really* needed some serious love.
Now listening to and torturing my colleagues with: What’s new Pussycat? by Tom Jones